"Anger Issues"

Exodus 32

"I am so angry I could kill him!" I said one summer night at the end of my 8th grade school year.  I was bullied bad throughout most of grade school and it culminated in Jr. High.  I went to a Christian School which in a lot of ways made it seem worse.  The cost of tution cost my parents a small car payment each month.  On the last day of the 8th grade I was in a small fight with one of my tormentors.  As he punched me in the stomach, I stood my ground. 

When I left school that day, another bully put a wad of contraband chewing gum in my hair and one of my favorite teachers helped me out.  Next year would be different (and it was!) I was going to public school! And would you believe it? Not one fight in 4 years at public school! That last night of 8th grade however, my abdomen was in excrutaiting pain.  (Which is a story in itself of false appendicitis!)  And that is when I killed my tormentor.  Seriously.  God's Word tells us, if we think it in our heart, we have committed the act itself in God's eyes.  So, I guess I am a murderer.  I am ashamed to admit that would not be the last time I thought about harming or killing someone.  I am certainly glad that through Christ Jesus, I am a new creation!

Another flawed person from the Bible actually did commit murder and was transformed by God into one of the great leaders and heroes of the Bible.  He was raised under a foreign roof by a family not his own.  He stuttered. (or had some sort of speech impediment) He might have been as powerful as Joseph – until he killed an Egyptian overseer and Pharaoh sought to kill him.  I am speaking of Moses. 

In the Fall of 2000, I had my own “burning bush” experience.  At that time, I drove various cars on a route to test the fuel in them.  (It was a temporary position) As I was driving one gloomy day I was approaching the stretch of the route that was out in the country and you could see (on a clear day) the trees in the distance on either side of the road.  Suddenly, the sun shot through the clouds illuminating the trees making them look like they were on fire.  And clear as a bell, I heard the small whisper of God say, “Mark, I love you.”  Audibly so I of course said, “Yeah, I love you too.” Then again, I heard the same voice that spoke the universe into existence speak my name with affectionate tones.  “No, Mark…I love you.”  Tears started streaming down my cheeks as I understood.  I pulled the car over right there and gave myself over to God.  I would be remiss if I didn’t say I hadn’t slipped up from time to time. (And still do!) But, as we will see, so did Moses.

Exodus 4:1 Moses questions the Almighty saying “What if they don’t believe me?” So, God gives him some miraculous signs.  Moses 0, God 1.  Verse 10 chapter 4 of Exodus Moses comes up with another excuse which angered the Lord.  Moses says “I am not a good speaker.” So God says, “Duh, I’ll fix that!” (Paraphrasing again for humorous effect) “Where is your brother Aaron? I’ll tell you where he is, he is on his way to see you.”  So God makes it safe for Moses to return to Egypt.  Moses 0, God 10,000,000,000!  A few times along the way Moses complained to God (with good reason, the Israelites were whiny jerks sometimes!)  Then came his temper.  This is a great passage of scripture in Exodus 32.  I used to have a temper.  (Yes even after my burning bush experience.) I used to yell and throw things (Much like Moses at the base of Mt. Sinai!)  OK, to be fair, he was exhibiting righteous anger, I was just an under medicated jerk.  You see one of my flaws is that I am bi-polar.  For the record, that does not mean that I believe I like brown bears, and polar bears.  It is also known as manic depressive disorder.  Which is a rather unfair assessment as well as it contains the word “disorder” or the absence of order or the spirit of chaos.  If Jesus left us saying "Shalom", which actually translates to “I leave you with the spirit of the Destructor of chaos.” Then I don’t believe that manic depressive disorder is a good diagnosis either.  I think it should be called “happy sad syndrome” but I guess that is why I am a writer and not a doctor.

Now what exactly happened at the base of Mt. Sinai?  Exodus 32:18-35 tells us the account.  I’ll wait right here while you go read that passage.  While we are at it read Matthew 21:12-13, John 2:13-16, and Psalm 69:9.

If you learned like I did, there is a big difference between righteous anger and anger.

Have you killed anyone lately? What are you angry about?  Is it justified by righteousness?  Is it holy anger?